- Aren’t there a couple of young men in there with Clara
“Aren’t there a couple of young men in there with Clara?” “No, only one. There isn’t a sound.” - Are you going to volunteer
She: Are you going to volunteer? He: If yes, no. If no, yes. - Another case of trying to keep neutral
Couple sitting on a park bench not really communicating - Studies in Expression
Making it a jack pot. - Advice to the mentally feeble
Keep the mouth closed. - Tragic Moments
The first stormy night in the cottage you have rented for the summer. - Who is that tramping around overhead
He: Who is that tramping around overhead? She: Oh, that’s only papa. He always gets restless towards morning. - We have had a terrible scrap
He: We have had a terrible scrap. “And I came out ahead.” “No. I did. You accepted my apology.” - Can you come to the jeweler’s with me to-morrow, dearest
“Can you come to the jeweler’s with me to-morrow, dearest? I’d like you to choose the ring yourself.” “In that case perhaps you’d better save up a little longer, darling.” - Why aren’t you ready, Isabel
“Why aren’t you ready, Isabel? You know very well the opera begins at eight-fifteen.” “Oh! Gracious! I forgot all about it. I’ve been so busy writing this article on preparedness.” - Three hundred dollars for that gown
“Three hundred dollars for that gown! Didn’t you get anything off?” “All I dared.” - Tragic Moments 9
The one night a week that he dines at home. - When they get their rights
“It’s only fair to warn you that my son has never had a father’s care and doesn’t know the first thing about housekeeping.” - Leap Year
He: You never compliment me any more on my appearance. She: Oh, charming! Charming! Charming! - Tragic Moments
Which shall be her sphere? - Studies in Expression
Reading the play. - Do women propose
Mr. Wooden always wanted a tall, serious wife, while his friend Chubb intended to marry a cheery little woman. - It’s perfectly awful the way you continue to flirt with your old sweethearts
He: It’s perfectly awful the way you continue to flirt with your old sweethearts. I don’t believe you love me any more. And yet, before we were married, you told me I was a man of a thousand. She: So you were, my dear, so you were. But I can’t entirely forget the other nine hundred and ninety-nine. - I don’t think married life is ever happy, anyway
“I don’t think married life is ever happy, anyway.” “Then, why don’t you divorce your husband?” “I’d rather quarrel with him than with strangers.” - Among those not invited
- Advice to the mentally feeble
Keep out of politics. - Also Brave
The parson’s wife. - All sorts of pups
- Tragic Moments
When your rich aunt arrives unexpectedly and finds you haven’t hung the portrait she sent you at Christmas. - The Third Generation
- The latest things in mens styles
- All women look alike
The plump one complains that the modern fashions make all women too much alike. - You don’t mean to say, Estelle, that you are tired of settlement work
“You don’t mean to say, Estelle, that you are tired of settlement work?” “But, Auntie, dear, poor people are so monotonous.” - A Story from the Front
- Also Brave
An outsider at one of Mrs. Catchem’s evenings. - Studies in Expression
Waiting for the flashlight. - A tragic moment for Smyth
A tragic moment for Smyth (who married for a home) Mrs. S. (who has the money) objects to the size of his tailor’s bill. - When Grandpa thinks of his mother
- The Reason dinner was late
- Tragic Moments
Trying to be appreciative while the author of the verses looks over your shoulder. - Advice to the mentally feeble
By all means marry for a home. - The Wonders of nature
Fond Grandparent: I was exactly like him at his age. - Out of Work
- A dog's life
- Advice to the mentally feeble
Never by any chance stay at home. - A widow
Little Sister: A widow? What’s a widow? Big Sister: A lady what’s had a husband and is goin’ to have another. - That’s a fine dog you have there. What breed is it
“That’s a fine dog you have there. What breed is it?” “Sh! Not so loud! He thinks he’s a bulldog.” - Tragic Moments
The Rev. —— reads his latest comedy to his niece. - When women vote
Mrs. Jones officially notified of her election as sheriff. - A Saving Grace
“Louise, I really cannot permit you to read novels on Sunday.” “But, Grandmamma, this novel is all right; it tells about a girl who was engaged to three Episcopal clergymen, all at once.” - Mobilizing for the summer campaign
- Advice to the mentally feeble
Go back to the stable as soon as possible - The latest craze
- Temptation
Just before it’s too late. - The Announcement of her engagement
- Tragic Moments
Dad is introduced to the man of her choice—“the nicest, sweetest thing in all the world." - Sarah, what is that I smell
Skimpy Mistress (scenting unaccustomed delights): Sarah, what is that I smell? Undernourished Maid of all Work: I think it must come in from next door. - Tragic Moments
His fiancée sees Captain von Hoffenfeffer in civilian clothes for the first time. - Tragic Moments
A susceptible young man trying to make up his mind which way to turn. - Seventh Inning - Everybody up
- Our uncharted coast
Very dangerous. - Tragic Moments
When your mother shows your best girl the door. - That sofa must have been made for two
He: That sofa must have been made for two. She: It’s hardly short enough for that. - Present plight of the European Debutante
- Ladies and Gentlemen