- Looking over his latest investments
- Christmas Eve Visitors
- Tragic Moments
Something wrong somewhere—time 8.55 and still waiting for dinner to be announced. - Tragic Moments
Strong-minded Lady (on meeting the bride and groom): I trust you will be as happy as we have been. - Everyman to his taste
- Meeting her sister's city friends
- Even the fish have feelings
- Keeping Neutral
- Do you think you will be able to keep within your allowance this month
Husband: Do you think you will be able to keep within your allowance this month? “I’m afraid so.” - Botany in the Bowery
“Where did you get those flowers, little girl? Off a tree?” “No, sir.” “Off a bush?” “No, sir.” “Where?” “Off a lady.” - In the Clouds
- Famous Actor
Famous Actor: Oh, yes, I’m married, but I always think it’s kind o’ tough on a girl that marries one of us travelin’ men. “Still, it might be worse. I suppose you’re away from home most of the time.” - Household Decoration
Mantel ornaments for domestic cheer. - Her Dance
- Have you ever written any editorials
Editor: Have you ever written any editorials? College Graduate: No, sir; but I think I might train my mind down to it. - Don’t you get awful tired of doin’ what you’re told
“Between me an’ you, Uncle Jasper, don’t you get awful tired of doin’ what you’re told? Don’t be scared to answer. I won’t give you away to Aunt Jane.” - Arthur says when he is at your house he acts just like one of the family
“Arthur says when he is at your house he acts just like one of the family.” “Yes, he seems to be just as much afraid of my wife as I am.” - Frederick enjoys the flower show in our village
- I had a poet on one side and a millionaire on the other
“I had a poet on one side and a millionaire on the other.” “What did you talk about?” “I talked to the poet about money and to the millionaire about the intellectual life.”